Day of Life #33

33 days -wow!

Well it is not as good of a day as yesterday- Madeline did really well at noon and took 40 cc's by bottle and was really hungry for it so we were very excited- However she has been crabby/upset ever since- She also threw up 20 cc's of her feed not too long ago.

The Dr wants to do two things- one she wants to do an ultrasound tomorrow and take a look at her stomach. She wants to check to see if she has Pyloric Stenosis which involves spasoming of the stomach, narrowing of the intestines , so that food is not getting into the small intestine. If she has this they will have to do surgery :( let's hope that's not the case.

The Dr. feels more likely that she is allergic to the protein in cow's milk and wants me to start a dairy free diet- This is fine because I was already planning on doing it. By Tuesday, Madeline should start getting breast milk that is 'dairy free.' Many of you have shared you have done this- I find it quite challenging and it hasn't even been 24 hrs! I am determined to stick with it- but it has been very difficult. For one, there is like almost no bread (at this hospital) that does not have milk or soy in it- so I couldn't have a simple sandwich. It seems like everywhere I turn there is something with milk, soy, whey, etc in it. I ended up eating some salad, a piece of plain chicken breast and plain rice (I almost cried without my favorite soy sauce!). Somehow I was/am still hungry. It sounds like a fair amount of food but I don't know I stil feel like I am starving! I ate an apple as a snack, an still..hungry! I am trying to figure out what to do for dinner as the cafeteria closes early and I am not familiar with restaurants in the area...especially if they have dairy free items (including soy). The lactation nurse gave me a book to borrow 'The Culinary Guide for MSPI' that talks about 'dairy free' brands/items at the store (for example roman meal whole grain bread, duncan hines brownies -yay for some chocolate) and the rest of the book is a recipe book which is great but I am pretty much at the hospital fro 9am-9 or 10 pm at night every day-so there is no time to cook. I could stay home more, but I don't want to be away from her and I don't want to miss opportunities to feed her. The whole thing is very overwhelming to me but I am insistent that I do not want her on formula if it can be avoided.

The Dr. mentioned that if before Tuesday (when my milk will be 'dairy free'), Madeline is still fussy/puking she would want to consider putting her on formula to avoid her getting dehydrated/going back on IV fluids for nutrients. I am not sure what we should do because I really don't want her on formula. Hoping God will keep her tolerant enough not to have to make that decision!

It is an overwhelming day, head is hurting, just want Madeline to feel better- Some days it feels like there are just mini roadblocks that keep getting put in our way to stop us from bringing her home. Pray that we can have patience through this, pray that she does not have to get surgery-

Thank you for the wonderful visits today- it helped me feel not so lonely with Ron working at the police station all weekend- Madeline got some wonderful gifts including personalized onesies that say 'Miracle Maddie'- we were so touched - thanks friends! Can't wait to get her pic in those!


Adalee- Have not spoken with mom and dad yet on how she is doing but will update when I know- Keep her and Everett in your prayers everyone!

Thanks All!